I’m hiring (again)!
LonerVamp, are you listening? 
(I know, you don’t want to live where I live. Quel bummeur.)
IT security geek wanted. Must enjoy caffeinated beverages and long walks in the ACLs. At least five years’ experience alternately threatening and placating users, covering for the ineptitude and lack of responsibility of other departments, turning on a metaphorical dime, and keeping really ugly secrets. Annoying attention to detail strongly preferred. Certifications are nice but you must not flaunt them as if you were the shizznit, nor may you have them on your business card or in any font larger than 10 point on your résumé. Must read, write and speak grammatically correct English, especially when conversing with senior management. Must demonstrate solid understanding of the differences among these words: vulnerability, threat, and risk. Prefer wicked sense of humor, appropriately cloaked. No psychos or stoners, please.
on 05/29 at 04:11 PM:
Now, if you ever do this work in another state and are hiring…!
Is this somewhat related to your poked eye from the other week?
A job posting like that sounds excellent!