Layer 8

Things you never thought you’d hear yourself say ...

when working in IT security:

1. Quick, I need a medium-scandalous JPEG to post.

2. Make mine a Caesar cipher ... with the bacon bit, please.

3. When he goes falsetto, you know it’s time to leave the room.

4. Yes, we’re the security group, but we don’t break into lockboxes. Sorry.

5. Let’s just hook up the printer straight to the shredder.

6. Damn, I forgot your password.

7. No, drawing a black line in the Word document doesn’t count as redacting.

8. Just how far DID we get bent over?

9. Let’s get the pentester drunk tonight so that he’ll sleep late while we upgrade the firewall.

10. I sure hope that’s a milkshake on that keyboard.

And things I never thought I’d hear myself say ... quite so much:

1. We’re doing WHAT??!??

Posted by shrdlu on Sunday, July 22, 2007
(3) Comments • Permalink •

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Comments

LonerVamp

on 07/23 at 08:18 AM:

I don’t get too many of these at my current job, but at my last one I could have quickly made quite a similar list!

I always love saying and/or hearing our techs on the phone with an employee, “Now, I’ll need your password…“ You hate to do it, but sometimes you just can’t support them without it, or they just blurt it out before you can stammer, “Wait, no, I don’t want it!“

“The developers said WHAT?“

Hrmm…I could do lockboxes, but I certainly am not great at picking locks. I have just dabbled here and there with that skill. Better than a newbie, but no replacement for a locksmith!

rybolov

on 07/23 at 12:50 PM:

I have some phenomenal one-liners:

“When you see me standing outside your cubicle first thing in the morning, you know it’s going to be a very, very bad day.“

“There’s a reason I have a door, precisely so we can talk about these things.“

“You guys always ignore me until you need help, so what did you break this time?“

Cheers
—Rybolov

shrdlu

on 07/23 at 06:36 PM:

Rybolov, the first one is SO familiar to me.

If I see the head of Internal Audit at my door first thing in the morning, I know it’s going to be a bad day.

If I see three or more of my staff congregated at my door first thing in the morning, I know it’s going to be a bad day.

If I get called down to my boss’s boss’s boss’s office, and someone from Legal, HR and/or Internal Audit are already there, I know it’s going to be a REALLY bad day.